8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
