how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
