theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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