you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
