It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
