Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
