Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm

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(702): View more from Nevada

I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me

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(706): View more from Georgia

I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.

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(323): View more from California

Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?

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(716): View more from New York

found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college

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(904): View more from Florida

naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.

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(574): View more from Indiana

When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE

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(515): View more from Iowa

How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.

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