She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
