Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Randomize
