i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
The dick lei will go down in squad history
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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