I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
