If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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