Your tits are I can't wait for
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
My vagina just recognized that song.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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