Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
