yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
