Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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