how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
