let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
