why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
