So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
