There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
