Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
