grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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