Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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