I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
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