There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
