This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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