While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I believe in your delicious
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
