how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
