i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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