Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
