Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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