SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
