lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
