if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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