Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
