i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
