I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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