Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
