Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
