Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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