Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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