i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I pour the whiskey from now on
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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