I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
