the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
