Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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