I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
