Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
