also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
