he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
